Feeling Guilty.

I almost puked while I was drinking my veggie juice this morning. And while I was brushing my teeth. And while I got dressed. I am struggling. All I want is white bread. Wheat bread makes me want to gag, even the fluffy kind. If I had some white stuff at least I could have a PB&J or a grilled cheese, because this just in, you can't eat deli meat IN ADDITION to soft cheeses while pregnant. That's like all I'm craving is toast points and delicate cheeses and a yummy sub sandwich. Oh wait, you can't eat deli meat, but only if you microwave it forever. Who doesn't love a steaming sandwich. Apparently everything is full of listeria these days. And having just had it, it's not fun. But even more than that, it's deadly for baby. So back to the white bread...I'm not getting any because I am trying to be as healthy as possible. What would be ideal, is if I could eat out for every meal. I could get salads for lunch and something yummy and Mexican or Italian for dinner. I wouldn't have to smell things cooking, which is the worst. But really, who has that kind of money? Not me.

I told Luke that all I was wanting was white bread but that I couldn't have it because it was just empty calories. And he said, better empty calories, than no calories. Which is true. Because when you're so nauseated that sounds make you want to throw up, you have to reach for something that sounds good. And if nothing sounds good, you don't eat, and then you get sicker. It's a pretty rough cycle.

I want to be healthy, but I also don't think that not eating, or actual vomiting 4 times a day is good for your body. I am gunna give in to the white bread, so hopefully I can eat again. And I'll just hafta reevaluate around 14 weeks.


Just a sidenote: watching all the new Food Network shows on Netflix is quite possibly the worst idea ever when you're sick. Realized too late. The puking has begun.