It's interesting. The last time I wrote in here was 1.5 years ago. So much has changed since then. But as I read back over the last few posts, it's very easy for me to see how we ended up where we are now. We lost 1.5 years of our lives and $6000 because we were foolish. It's easy to see how we stopped doing the basics, scripture study, praying, church and slowly we fell away. In one post I wrote how I didn't think I had a testimony anymore and it's because I let go of it. Other things became more important. Worldly things.
I had 2 profoundly spiritual experiences. And then over time, I tried to pretend like they didn't happen. That they weren't real. I was unhappy and overwhelmed and I am sure that it was just all too easy for Satan and his minions to give me the final push. Luke was just trying to get through school and working awful hours. He wasn't thinking clearly either, being in the same spiritual boat as me, and he was more than happy to not add more responsibility. We had become prideful and unyielding. We're just lucky we had a Father in Heaven who helped us get back on track. To say it in a not so loving way, we were knocked down a few notches when Luke lost his job.
I've said it several times since then, that that was exactly what we needed. And of course God knew that. Luke and I are completely different people than we were those two years ago, and in a totally different place as well. I am so grateful for a loving Heavenly Father who allows us to struggle. Who is a strong enough parent to step back and say, "Let's see if she can walk on her own." But still hovering in the back ground ready to pick me up when I fall down as He always does.
I've thought about deleting all of the old posts and starting fresh. But I don't think I will. It gives good background to how we got here.
And now, even though this whole process took much longer than expected, we're once again, starting out on a new baby journey.
Heaven help us! :)
No comments:
Post a Comment