Third Trimester.

I can't ever remember if the 3rd trimester starts at 28 weeks or 29...either way, I'm there.

Yeah, that week didn't go by any quicker. I think I'm treading into awful pregnancy territory. Not that the nausea, pain and doctor's visits have been a treat. It's more like the end of pregnancy where you're just done. With everything. The pain. The constant bathroom trips. Feeling light-headed every single time you get up. Still only being able to eat carbs. No sleeping. So hard to breathe. ETC.

Two days ago I must've gotten a fresh dose of pregnancy hormones. In all of 2 hours, I was angry, turned on, crying, frustrated, happy, and exhausted. Plus I got a batch of new zits on my face. That's always fun. My depression has gotten 10X worse which is always thanks to hormones. I feel like blowing off all of my commitments this week. And I just might. All I really want to do is find a rock to hide under and not tell anyone where I'm at. Sad huh?

As of today, I have gained 9 pounds. Still, not bad at all. But it seems like every time I see that scale increase, I die a little. I don't want to be gaining weight. I worked so hard to lose those 30 pounds and I don't want them back. I don't wanna start from square one just because I had a baby. And I know most women lose 15-20 pounds in the first week after baby is born, but even if I lose it that fast, my heart would break if I ever saw a number in the 260s again.The reasonable voice in my head is saying, "It's okay. It's all worth it for that baby girl, and you'll get back on top of things this summer. You have a plan." But the fat girl inside of me is screaming, "Don't make me lose those pounds all over again! Also, give me a cookie."

Uhhhhhhhhhh.

Can you tell I'm down? Life seems bleak.

Only 10 weeks left. Hopefully I can make it until then.