More months have passed. More trying. 1 success. I knew I was pregnant. Even before all the symptoms started showing up. I knew the moment of conception. TMI? Ah well. That's how sure I was. 2.5 weeks late. September 13th. Officially 6.5 weeks pregnant. Until I wasn't.
The bleeding and cramping began. This was no normal menstrual cycle. The cramps didn't even feel like normal menstrual cramps, which for me, after 4 kids, feel like labor pains every month. But even labor pains have their purpose. They hurt like hell, but you know your body is working to get that baby out into the world. That's the consolation prize for all the pain and suffering. This was not that. This physical pain felt like something was literally tearing itself away from my body. With more evidence than I could handle every time I used the restroom.
Emotionally I am. I don't necessarily feel like I lost a child. There is still a baby that needs to come to our family. I feel like for whatever reason this happened, it was meant to be this way. I feel peace. I also feel immense frustration. That it took two years to get pregnant and it just wouldn't stick. I don't think I can wait another two years. Out of the handful of people that knew, they said I was handling things very well. Part of me is still waiting to see if I will fall into a downward spiral, while desperately trying to avoid just that.
Luke is struggling with this way more than I thought he would. He is also frustrated and extremely stressed out which is triggering depression. That's not a normal reaction for him. It's really hard to rattle my husband, but this has done it. How do I help him be okay when I'm not sure what it takes? For him, for me, for anyone.
I was determined to go to church on Sunday. It had been weeks and lots of reasons since we had gone and I needed to be there. Not for emotional support, but to just be there. To partake of the sacrament and just be. Grace had woken up very early and so on our 8:30am drive to the church building, she fell asleep. I pulled her out once we'd arrived and she instantly rested her sweet head on my shoulder for sleepy snuggles. I was able to hold her like this for more than 30 minutes. I smelled her hair and touched her face and felt her breathing against me. She was so soft and so warm and I felt such a sense of pride that this extremely cautious 2 year old would put so much trust in me to hold her while she slept. That I was worthy of her trust and her love. I looked down the bench at my amazing husband trying to quietly referee three kids determined to get snacks and coloring and church books, and I was so grateful. Of all the things I have been blessed with, my incredible family will always be number one on my list. I was able to see the collateral beauty.
I am blessed but not yet complete. So I keep waiting and praying and really trying hard to be patient when it's definitely not my forte.
I feel empty. And determined. And grateful. And sad and blessed.
Tuesday, September 19, 2017
Thursday, January 12, 2017
Another 4 months.
Another 4 months have past since my last post and still not BFP. We are officially classified as having secondary infertility. Here are some things you may not know about secondary infertility...
Secondary infertility is defined as the inability to become pregnant, or to carry a pregnancy to term, following the birth of one or more biological children. The birth of the first child does not involve any assisted reproductive technologies or fertility medications.
Secondary infertility is the inability to get pregnant despite frequent, unprotected sex — for at least a year in women under age 35 or six months in women age 35 and older — by a couple who have previously had a pregnancy. Secondary infertility shares many of the same causes of primary infertility.
Among the possible causes of secondary infertility are:
Now me. My period is considered sporadic. It's between 37 and 45 days long. I can never really tell when it'll happen. The cramps are so bad that it feels like labor pains. And I was at my heaviest weight ever of 282. And my body is FULL of inflammation.
So even though we're creeping up on 1.5 years of TTC, we decided not to go the medical route. IVF, IUI, semen analysis, ultrasounds, medications, they are all super expensive and we have bad insurance. We can't afford to do those things out of pocket. So wouldn't it be best if we healed ourselves? I have read study after study that say if you lose even 5 - 10% of your body weight, it makes a HUGE difference in your reproductive system. 10% is the goal with mine being 30 lbs and Luke's being 25 lbs. Luke is also in a biggest loser competition at work and could potentially come home with $900 if he wins!
Luke and I have decided to go all in. We are eating less, cutting out sugar and lots of simple carbs, upping the veggie and fruit and protein intake. We exercise for 30-40 min everyday and then stretch and really enjoy it. We are also reading our scriptures and praying daily as a couple and individually and as a family, while the kids eat breakfast. By improving our all around well being, as well as losing weight, we're hoping to conceive naturally in a few months. If there is no progress by April, we will visit a doctor and get some tests and possibly some medication.
So that's where we're at. And although, no one is currently reading this, it feels good to have it written down for accountability purposes.
RESULTS: We are both already feeling better. We're less tired and sick since we don't have those food hangovers anymore. Luke's heart burn is also non existent and he's sleeping much better at night. I have lost 9 lbs and Luke has lost 6 lbs. I had a slight hiccup with a shoulder problem, but I'm on an anti inflammatory for the next 2 months to clear it up and make sure there isn't a repeat.
Secondary infertility is defined as the inability to become pregnant, or to carry a pregnancy to term, following the birth of one or more biological children. The birth of the first child does not involve any assisted reproductive technologies or fertility medications.
Secondary infertility is the inability to get pregnant despite frequent, unprotected sex — for at least a year in women under age 35 or six months in women age 35 and older — by a couple who have previously had a pregnancy. Secondary infertility shares many of the same causes of primary infertility.
Among the possible causes of secondary infertility are:
- Impaired sperm production, function or delivery in men
- Fallopian tube damage, ovulation disorders, endometriosis and uterine conditions in women
- Complications related to prior pregnancies
- Changes in your and your partner's risk factors, such as age, weight and use of certain medications
Now me. My period is considered sporadic. It's between 37 and 45 days long. I can never really tell when it'll happen. The cramps are so bad that it feels like labor pains. And I was at my heaviest weight ever of 282. And my body is FULL of inflammation.
So even though we're creeping up on 1.5 years of TTC, we decided not to go the medical route. IVF, IUI, semen analysis, ultrasounds, medications, they are all super expensive and we have bad insurance. We can't afford to do those things out of pocket. So wouldn't it be best if we healed ourselves? I have read study after study that say if you lose even 5 - 10% of your body weight, it makes a HUGE difference in your reproductive system. 10% is the goal with mine being 30 lbs and Luke's being 25 lbs. Luke is also in a biggest loser competition at work and could potentially come home with $900 if he wins!
Luke and I have decided to go all in. We are eating less, cutting out sugar and lots of simple carbs, upping the veggie and fruit and protein intake. We exercise for 30-40 min everyday and then stretch and really enjoy it. We are also reading our scriptures and praying daily as a couple and individually and as a family, while the kids eat breakfast. By improving our all around well being, as well as losing weight, we're hoping to conceive naturally in a few months. If there is no progress by April, we will visit a doctor and get some tests and possibly some medication.
So that's where we're at. And although, no one is currently reading this, it feels good to have it written down for accountability purposes.
RESULTS: We are both already feeling better. We're less tired and sick since we don't have those food hangovers anymore. Luke's heart burn is also non existent and he's sleeping much better at night. I have lost 9 lbs and Luke has lost 6 lbs. I had a slight hiccup with a shoulder problem, but I'm on an anti inflammatory for the next 2 months to clear it up and make sure there isn't a repeat.
Monday, September 19, 2016
1 Year.
Long time no see eh? Yeah, I've been busy raising the baby I had 16 months ago.
Its funny though. We knew that there was another baby, and while the previously mentioned deal with The Father, meant that there would only be one more pregnancy, truthfully, we haven't been all that excited about it. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my kids. More than just about everything. But, being in the throes of teaching and raising those 4 kids, doesn't exactly make you baby hungry. Parenting is hard work right? Plus there is my always present loathing of pregnancy. Its seriously rotten. Hand me a newborn and I'll easily take the sleep deprivation. Wanna know why? Because they're so sweet! And because I have a husband who pulls his weight. Get this, he actually gets up once in awhile to take care of HIS child! Crazy huh? Apparently that is not the norm for most families. But in mine, I wouldn't have it any other way. So yeah, not over the moon, but still willing and happy to add another to our brood.
It may be why we have been slightly dragging our feet. I have been off birth control for a year. After having only been on it for 3.5 months. It makes me legit crazy. So we've been "not preventing" for a year now and so far nothing. But to me, trying is tracking ovulation, doing the deed every other day during the right time, legs in the air afterward, that kinda thing. I was very aware of when I was ovulating in relation to when we were gettin busy. But like I said, we've been busy livin. And I knew that without a doubt that the Lord would send us a baby when the time was right. Until now it hasn't been. Can you even imagine if we had? Luke may have not graduated when he did, we for sure would've stayed in Utah! We'd be living a very different life!
But the time has come to really get things moving. It feels like the right time is just around the corner.
So here's to trying to conceive. May we be fertile. Or something like that. ;)
Its funny though. We knew that there was another baby, and while the previously mentioned deal with The Father, meant that there would only be one more pregnancy, truthfully, we haven't been all that excited about it. Don't get me wrong. I LOVE my kids. More than just about everything. But, being in the throes of teaching and raising those 4 kids, doesn't exactly make you baby hungry. Parenting is hard work right? Plus there is my always present loathing of pregnancy. Its seriously rotten. Hand me a newborn and I'll easily take the sleep deprivation. Wanna know why? Because they're so sweet! And because I have a husband who pulls his weight. Get this, he actually gets up once in awhile to take care of HIS child! Crazy huh? Apparently that is not the norm for most families. But in mine, I wouldn't have it any other way. So yeah, not over the moon, but still willing and happy to add another to our brood.
It may be why we have been slightly dragging our feet. I have been off birth control for a year. After having only been on it for 3.5 months. It makes me legit crazy. So we've been "not preventing" for a year now and so far nothing. But to me, trying is tracking ovulation, doing the deed every other day during the right time, legs in the air afterward, that kinda thing. I was very aware of when I was ovulating in relation to when we were gettin busy. But like I said, we've been busy livin. And I knew that without a doubt that the Lord would send us a baby when the time was right. Until now it hasn't been. Can you even imagine if we had? Luke may have not graduated when he did, we for sure would've stayed in Utah! We'd be living a very different life!
But the time has come to really get things moving. It feels like the right time is just around the corner.
So here's to trying to conceive. May we be fertile. Or something like that. ;)
Thursday, June 11, 2015
The Post Partum Wrap Up.
This will probably be my last post on this blog until I decide to pick this journey up one last time. She is here. Grace Rebecca Moore has finally arrived. If you haven't yet, and you want to, you can read all about it here.
This post is where I wanted to write all about my last few weeks of pregnancy symptoms and the post partum symptoms I am now experiencing. This time around I had a hard time remembering what was new for this pregnancy, and what I had gone through before. I don't want to forget and be thrown off next time, so these things needed to be documented.
I already wrote this, but first and most important...
1. Don't plan anything big after 30 weeks. You will start to go downhill quickly. Physically and mentally. When you feel like you need it, get on an antidepressant. Don't wait. Do anything and everything that will help you feel better mentally and emotionally. Go out to eat, go for a drive, have sex even if you're exhausted - it'll be an hour where you don't have to think about how much you hurt or how done you are being pregnant, eat a treat and don't worry about the calories, buy something for baby, buy something for yourself, if you can - serve someone else, make a countdown calendar, spend time with your kids, spend time with your spouse, go on a date, spend time alone, go out with friends. Anything that will help.
2. The last month is the worst. You will be counting every single day for the first two weeks, and the last two weeks, you'll be counting hours. Do what you can to stay sane. Take any help anyone is willing to give. Organize. For reals. There is no time for that once baby is here.
3. This time, I felt absolutely no downstairs pain. Other than during the delivery ya know. Afterwards, it was almost like nothing had happened. I took care of myself the way I should have - ice gloves and medication and such, but even where I had a couple of stitches, no pain. It seems to get less and less with each baby. So that's really nice.
4. The cramps however, get worse and worse with each baby. My uterus is still cramping pretty badly and I am almost 2 weeks out. Not so fun.
5. My feet started to swell right around day 2 PP, and only got bigger from there. But, the swelling was completely gone one week after.
6. So much peeing. So much sweating. I had headaches this time too, probably from the shift in hormones. The exhaustion is unreal. I only get up with Grace once at night and Luke gets up with her once. But I am like ready to pass out all the time. Naps aren't an option. You have 4 kids. Next time you'll have 5. They don't understand the need for naps. Just go to bed early and sleep as well as you can. Gracie is doing good though. Last night I slept from 11pm to 6:15am when she woke up. And Luke got up with her at 3am. She will be sleeping through the night in the next month or two.
7. The PPD is starting, but I am already on prozac and am monitoring myself closely so I know when I need to up my dosage.
8. And finally, this is a weird symptom this time around. My bones hurt. From my knees to my navel, I ache, deep in my bones. It started about 2 weeks before she was born and is still going strong two weeks after she was born. The only thing I can figure is, my hips were moving out and now they're on their way back in. And the reason it hurts so much is because this is my 4th baby. Things are starting to get a little worn out. Good thing I am only contracted for one more time.
So that's about all I think. I haven't been super moody yet, my hormones are definitely shifting because I have some acne showing up. But over all, its just really nice to not be pregnant anymore. Overall, I gained 24 lbs during this pregnancy and so far, I have lost 14 lbs. Only 10 lbs to go to pre pregnancy weight and then on to regular weight loss!
Until next time.
This post is where I wanted to write all about my last few weeks of pregnancy symptoms and the post partum symptoms I am now experiencing. This time around I had a hard time remembering what was new for this pregnancy, and what I had gone through before. I don't want to forget and be thrown off next time, so these things needed to be documented.
I already wrote this, but first and most important...
1. Don't plan anything big after 30 weeks. You will start to go downhill quickly. Physically and mentally. When you feel like you need it, get on an antidepressant. Don't wait. Do anything and everything that will help you feel better mentally and emotionally. Go out to eat, go for a drive, have sex even if you're exhausted - it'll be an hour where you don't have to think about how much you hurt or how done you are being pregnant, eat a treat and don't worry about the calories, buy something for baby, buy something for yourself, if you can - serve someone else, make a countdown calendar, spend time with your kids, spend time with your spouse, go on a date, spend time alone, go out with friends. Anything that will help.
2. The last month is the worst. You will be counting every single day for the first two weeks, and the last two weeks, you'll be counting hours. Do what you can to stay sane. Take any help anyone is willing to give. Organize. For reals. There is no time for that once baby is here.
3. This time, I felt absolutely no downstairs pain. Other than during the delivery ya know. Afterwards, it was almost like nothing had happened. I took care of myself the way I should have - ice gloves and medication and such, but even where I had a couple of stitches, no pain. It seems to get less and less with each baby. So that's really nice.
4. The cramps however, get worse and worse with each baby. My uterus is still cramping pretty badly and I am almost 2 weeks out. Not so fun.
5. My feet started to swell right around day 2 PP, and only got bigger from there. But, the swelling was completely gone one week after.
6. So much peeing. So much sweating. I had headaches this time too, probably from the shift in hormones. The exhaustion is unreal. I only get up with Grace once at night and Luke gets up with her once. But I am like ready to pass out all the time. Naps aren't an option. You have 4 kids. Next time you'll have 5. They don't understand the need for naps. Just go to bed early and sleep as well as you can. Gracie is doing good though. Last night I slept from 11pm to 6:15am when she woke up. And Luke got up with her at 3am. She will be sleeping through the night in the next month or two.
7. The PPD is starting, but I am already on prozac and am monitoring myself closely so I know when I need to up my dosage.
8. And finally, this is a weird symptom this time around. My bones hurt. From my knees to my navel, I ache, deep in my bones. It started about 2 weeks before she was born and is still going strong two weeks after she was born. The only thing I can figure is, my hips were moving out and now they're on their way back in. And the reason it hurts so much is because this is my 4th baby. Things are starting to get a little worn out. Good thing I am only contracted for one more time.
So that's about all I think. I haven't been super moody yet, my hormones are definitely shifting because I have some acne showing up. But over all, its just really nice to not be pregnant anymore. Overall, I gained 24 lbs during this pregnancy and so far, I have lost 14 lbs. Only 10 lbs to go to pre pregnancy weight and then on to regular weight loss!
Until next time.
Sunday, May 24, 2015
The Last Pregnancy Update!
I am currently 38 weeks 4 days pregnant. Seriously never thought I would make it this far. I mean I knew logically I would eventually get here, but mentally I thought it would take a thousand years. I have 5 days left until my induction and the kids are beside themselves! They are so incredibly excited. They tell me every day things they are going to do for Gracie when she comes out and the toys they will show her and how they will protect her and love her so much. My heart is so full of love right now for my little family.
In other not so fun news...LOTS and lots of pain and pressure. It is almost impossible to sit up in a chair just because the pressure is so intense. I remember this from last time and I remember hating it then too. I went to labor and delivery on Thursday because of all the pressure, but I was also having contractions too. They monitored me for two hours and checked my cervix 3 times. Baby was wigglin away, contractions coming and going and there was literally no change in my body. I am still measuring at 1.5 cm, but I am now about 50% effaced. Being sent home from the hospital and still being this pregnant is so hard. But, there are rules for a reason. I was told to take a loritab to get my pain under control. Jen promised me it would help my body relax and I would be able to sleep. So I took it reluctantly and it really did help. Which was good, and also disappointing :)
I haven't had very many contractions since then and that's okay. I am good with waiting until Friday. I have sitters set up and things all arranged and it would be a pain to have to redo all that if she came a couple days early. I really don't think she will. I think Gracie is quite cozy. That makes one of us :)
I am starting to get a little nervous about the delivery and recovery. The last two babies were cake and it really surprised me. But I can never get out of my head the trauma of Emma's birth. I remember all the pain, and feeling myself tear and the awful, awful months of recovery. I know that the probability of having a good delivery is high, especially since this is my 4th baby and my body kinda knows how it goes. But that terror is one you don't ever forget. I am just praying for a good outcome for baby and me.
Either way though, I will get to hold her in 5 days! I am having a baby this week and I can't wait!!!!
In other not so fun news...LOTS and lots of pain and pressure. It is almost impossible to sit up in a chair just because the pressure is so intense. I remember this from last time and I remember hating it then too. I went to labor and delivery on Thursday because of all the pressure, but I was also having contractions too. They monitored me for two hours and checked my cervix 3 times. Baby was wigglin away, contractions coming and going and there was literally no change in my body. I am still measuring at 1.5 cm, but I am now about 50% effaced. Being sent home from the hospital and still being this pregnant is so hard. But, there are rules for a reason. I was told to take a loritab to get my pain under control. Jen promised me it would help my body relax and I would be able to sleep. So I took it reluctantly and it really did help. Which was good, and also disappointing :)
I haven't had very many contractions since then and that's okay. I am good with waiting until Friday. I have sitters set up and things all arranged and it would be a pain to have to redo all that if she came a couple days early. I really don't think she will. I think Gracie is quite cozy. That makes one of us :)
I am starting to get a little nervous about the delivery and recovery. The last two babies were cake and it really surprised me. But I can never get out of my head the trauma of Emma's birth. I remember all the pain, and feeling myself tear and the awful, awful months of recovery. I know that the probability of having a good delivery is high, especially since this is my 4th baby and my body kinda knows how it goes. But that terror is one you don't ever forget. I am just praying for a good outcome for baby and me.
Either way though, I will get to hold her in 5 days! I am having a baby this week and I can't wait!!!!
Tuesday, May 12, 2015
37 weeks.
I went to my latest ob appt yesterday. Here's what I know. I tested positive for Group B Strep this time around. Just means some antibiotics when I am induced, no biggie. I am measuring at 1.5 cm and still not effaced at all. Baby is still head down and is officially ready to go, whatever that term is, she has dropped or lightened or whatever. Her head is stuck where its at and she's not going anywhere but out, whenever she decides it's time. Yes. Also, I tried to coerce my favorite midwife into inducing me at 38 weeks 6 days (a Tuesday) because that's the only day that week that she is on call. She said she wished she could, but any day before 39 weeks is a liability. She said if she didn't have 3 little kids at home, she would just come in on Wednesday and do it. She's so nice. Love to Jen :) We did a NST as well, and Grace is doing so good. Great fetal heart tones and Will was so wonderful to just sit by me and play the tablet.
I also tried to switch my induction to Wed - when I am actually 39 weeks instead of waiting another two days for Friday. So such luck. There were already 10 women who were on Wed. And I am #1 on Friday. It's better just to wait. It'll be a long 16 days though.
I am still doing the same. Pain, pain and more pain. In the form of BH, contractions, headaches, getting kicked in the ribs and ligament pain. Lots of nausea, which means lots of carbs. Which also means that I am up to 20 pounds gained. AHHHHH! It's going to be so hard to reverse some of these bad habits. Good thing Luke is already ready to go. He's excited to have the summer off and exercise and lose some weight. I just hafta remember to give myself the time I need to recover after baby is born and not try to do things too fast and mess myself up more.
We're all getting very anxious over here!
I also tried to switch my induction to Wed - when I am actually 39 weeks instead of waiting another two days for Friday. So such luck. There were already 10 women who were on Wed. And I am #1 on Friday. It's better just to wait. It'll be a long 16 days though.
I am still doing the same. Pain, pain and more pain. In the form of BH, contractions, headaches, getting kicked in the ribs and ligament pain. Lots of nausea, which means lots of carbs. Which also means that I am up to 20 pounds gained. AHHHHH! It's going to be so hard to reverse some of these bad habits. Good thing Luke is already ready to go. He's excited to have the summer off and exercise and lose some weight. I just hafta remember to give myself the time I need to recover after baby is born and not try to do things too fast and mess myself up more.
We're all getting very anxious over here!
Wednesday, May 6, 2015
36 & 29.
36 weeks today. Only 23 days left until induction. Seriously, it's getting so close I can taste it! And it tastes like freedom. And cold stone in a hospital room. Can't wait! I dream all day long about what it will be like when I am not pregnant. And what Grace will be like. And how great it will be to have a new baby again. Newborn snuggles and newborn smells. I'm getting really excited. That is, when I am not crying about all the pain I'm in. It's a trade off.
Yesterday was my 29th birthday. I soooo did not want to take any pictures, it sounded like a lot of work. But then I realized that the next birthday picture I take, I'll be 30! Suddenly capturing 29 seemed like a must do on my list. I tried a full belly shot and it made me feel disgusting. So I went with a face shot. Much better and the shadows hide my double chin nicely. I also figured since I couldn't really do my hair, that some make-up would be in order.
I started the day off with taking Lilah to preschool and then drove 80+ down the freeway to make it to my appt in time. 36th week visit...that means Group B Strep test. Yay. Its whatever. I've never had problems with it before, but if getting checked for it protects my baby, I'm in. I also told my midwife whilst she was 'down there' she could check my cervix. Why not ya know? Turns out I'm 1 centimeter and still totally thick. So at least all of the contractions and BH are actually doing something and not just causing needless pain. I try to remember when it hurts so badly, that my body is just trying to change and get ready for delivery. Sometimes is works, sometimes not. Anyhow, baby's heartbeat sounds fantastic, she's still head down, where hopefully she'll stay.
After that, we picked up Lilah from school and Daddy from work and headed to Bruges & Frites. A place that was originally in SLC and now has a storefront on center in Provo. I had heard lots of hype and wanted to see what it was about. The four of us split an order of fries with different dipping sauces. None that I was super crazy about. The fries were crispy which is always good. But beyond that, I wasn't overly impressed. Then we got waffles. If I am sharing a waffle with anyone in my family, I always have to get chocolate cause no one likes fruity desserts. So since it was my day, I wanted to get the warm apple pie waffle. It boasted caramelized apples and creme fraiche and sounded awesome. When it came I was super disappointed. There was no caramelized anything. Not even a caramel sauce. They apples looked floppy and warm like someone had re-hydrated dried apples. The waffle was dense and thick and tasted like cinnamon bread. Not bad, but not what you want in a waffle. And the creme fraiche was just whipped cream. $9 disappointment. Luke and the kids got the same waffle - a torpedo. It's a Liege waffle pumped full of chocolate. Then they topped it with vanilla bean ice cream and a belgian chocolate sauce. I had a couple bites, and that I would get again. Liege waffles in my opinion are just okay. They have the crunchy pearlized sugar which is cool, but the taste and texture is much like bread. But the star of the show was the Belgian chocolate sauce. Made from actual chocolate so when poured on the ice cream it's like the most heavenly magic shell ever. I would go back for that, but not for much else. I think I'm a bit of a food snob.
And since we were out, I didn't really want to go home yet. I knew I wasn't up for anything awesome. So we went to Target for a little stroll. Everyone stared at my belly as they passed me. Like without abandon. Full on eyebrows up, huge eyeballs, gaping. And I realized I have reached planet-sized status. Mom saw me a week ago, and when she came by for a second yesterday, her eyes about popped out. Baby is growing. She better not be like 20 pounds though. That's no bueno. So far my weight gain is 16 pounds. Probably more today since my waffes-fries-pizza-soda-cake combo of yesterday. I have been scared to check. I usually try to save most of my weight gain for the last part because I get so hungry and baby is growing so fast that it's like a freight train no one can stop. Anyway, we walked the perimeter of Target very slowly and then I was about spent and tired of people staring. I also felt like I had filled my birthday quota of being out of the house. I was ready to lay down again.
Luke and I started watching The Desolation of Smaug around 3pm. But there were many many interruptions and we didn't end up finishing it until 9pm. Way too late to start the last one. This pregnant lady cannot stay up until midnight. So it's on the cue for tonight. Luke also made me a simple marbled cake with chocolate frosting and did the dishes. With 29 candles on the cake the kids were a little afraid of starting a fire and made sure to help me blow some out. And oh yeah, Luke got CPK for dinner I got a tostada pizza without the lettuce and lots of extra lime juice. For the first time in my life, I actually ate semi-mexican fare on Cinco de Mayo.
Bedtime actually went okay. We have moved Will into the girls room. Mostly because I am so tired of telling them to stop playing on the crib. It has to last through 2 more babies, it can't get broken. The first night was not so good. Lots of threats and taking of stuffed animals, tears and putting kids in the bathtub. They all finally went to sleep around 9:30pm. Lilah is the instigator. She thinks bedtime is a party every night and convinces the others to follow her. Oi. But last night was the second night and no one wanted to be in the bathtub. We only had to remind Lilah and Will to be quiet once. Then all was silent. It was nice. Hopefully this is a new trend! Fingers crossed. Oh, but Emma made sure to point out that Mama hadn't opened her presents yet. To which Daddy answered, Mama doesn't have any presents. The kids were shocked which I think is what he was going for because he just laughed and then Lilah started to cry. So glad my babies love me and are looking out for their Mama! :) I came to Luke's defense though and said that I had told Daddy that there wasn't anything I wanted. That my birthday present was coming late this year. In 24 days to be exact. That baby Gracie is all the present I needed for my 29th birthday. That made them happy :)
It was a great birthday. And an excellent distraction. Exactly what I needed. I'm all pumped up and ready to lay on the couch the rest of the week.
Yesterday was my 29th birthday. I soooo did not want to take any pictures, it sounded like a lot of work. But then I realized that the next birthday picture I take, I'll be 30! Suddenly capturing 29 seemed like a must do on my list. I tried a full belly shot and it made me feel disgusting. So I went with a face shot. Much better and the shadows hide my double chin nicely. I also figured since I couldn't really do my hair, that some make-up would be in order.
I started the day off with taking Lilah to preschool and then drove 80+ down the freeway to make it to my appt in time. 36th week visit...that means Group B Strep test. Yay. Its whatever. I've never had problems with it before, but if getting checked for it protects my baby, I'm in. I also told my midwife whilst she was 'down there' she could check my cervix. Why not ya know? Turns out I'm 1 centimeter and still totally thick. So at least all of the contractions and BH are actually doing something and not just causing needless pain. I try to remember when it hurts so badly, that my body is just trying to change and get ready for delivery. Sometimes is works, sometimes not. Anyhow, baby's heartbeat sounds fantastic, she's still head down, where hopefully she'll stay.
After that, we picked up Lilah from school and Daddy from work and headed to Bruges & Frites. A place that was originally in SLC and now has a storefront on center in Provo. I had heard lots of hype and wanted to see what it was about. The four of us split an order of fries with different dipping sauces. None that I was super crazy about. The fries were crispy which is always good. But beyond that, I wasn't overly impressed. Then we got waffles. If I am sharing a waffle with anyone in my family, I always have to get chocolate cause no one likes fruity desserts. So since it was my day, I wanted to get the warm apple pie waffle. It boasted caramelized apples and creme fraiche and sounded awesome. When it came I was super disappointed. There was no caramelized anything. Not even a caramel sauce. They apples looked floppy and warm like someone had re-hydrated dried apples. The waffle was dense and thick and tasted like cinnamon bread. Not bad, but not what you want in a waffle. And the creme fraiche was just whipped cream. $9 disappointment. Luke and the kids got the same waffle - a torpedo. It's a Liege waffle pumped full of chocolate. Then they topped it with vanilla bean ice cream and a belgian chocolate sauce. I had a couple bites, and that I would get again. Liege waffles in my opinion are just okay. They have the crunchy pearlized sugar which is cool, but the taste and texture is much like bread. But the star of the show was the Belgian chocolate sauce. Made from actual chocolate so when poured on the ice cream it's like the most heavenly magic shell ever. I would go back for that, but not for much else. I think I'm a bit of a food snob.
And since we were out, I didn't really want to go home yet. I knew I wasn't up for anything awesome. So we went to Target for a little stroll. Everyone stared at my belly as they passed me. Like without abandon. Full on eyebrows up, huge eyeballs, gaping. And I realized I have reached planet-sized status. Mom saw me a week ago, and when she came by for a second yesterday, her eyes about popped out. Baby is growing. She better not be like 20 pounds though. That's no bueno. So far my weight gain is 16 pounds. Probably more today since my waffes-fries-pizza-soda-cake combo of yesterday. I have been scared to check. I usually try to save most of my weight gain for the last part because I get so hungry and baby is growing so fast that it's like a freight train no one can stop. Anyway, we walked the perimeter of Target very slowly and then I was about spent and tired of people staring. I also felt like I had filled my birthday quota of being out of the house. I was ready to lay down again.
Luke and I started watching The Desolation of Smaug around 3pm. But there were many many interruptions and we didn't end up finishing it until 9pm. Way too late to start the last one. This pregnant lady cannot stay up until midnight. So it's on the cue for tonight. Luke also made me a simple marbled cake with chocolate frosting and did the dishes. With 29 candles on the cake the kids were a little afraid of starting a fire and made sure to help me blow some out. And oh yeah, Luke got CPK for dinner I got a tostada pizza without the lettuce and lots of extra lime juice. For the first time in my life, I actually ate semi-mexican fare on Cinco de Mayo.
Bedtime actually went okay. We have moved Will into the girls room. Mostly because I am so tired of telling them to stop playing on the crib. It has to last through 2 more babies, it can't get broken. The first night was not so good. Lots of threats and taking of stuffed animals, tears and putting kids in the bathtub. They all finally went to sleep around 9:30pm. Lilah is the instigator. She thinks bedtime is a party every night and convinces the others to follow her. Oi. But last night was the second night and no one wanted to be in the bathtub. We only had to remind Lilah and Will to be quiet once. Then all was silent. It was nice. Hopefully this is a new trend! Fingers crossed. Oh, but Emma made sure to point out that Mama hadn't opened her presents yet. To which Daddy answered, Mama doesn't have any presents. The kids were shocked which I think is what he was going for because he just laughed and then Lilah started to cry. So glad my babies love me and are looking out for their Mama! :) I came to Luke's defense though and said that I had told Daddy that there wasn't anything I wanted. That my birthday present was coming late this year. In 24 days to be exact. That baby Gracie is all the present I needed for my 29th birthday. That made them happy :)
It was a great birthday. And an excellent distraction. Exactly what I needed. I'm all pumped up and ready to lay on the couch the rest of the week.
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